Fringe

My office has so many glass panes that at times it is difficult to differentiate people from their reflections. I am standing at the window smoking, looking at the world outside through my own reflection when Natasha walks through the door in her bright red dress. Natasha always pops out her breasts more than usual when she comes to talk to me. Today I don’t notice them. ‘Boss wants to see you’, she tells me disappointed with my indifference. I am walking to his cabin when I remember that Sahil is out of the country. I open the door and I find Suzanne sitting there. She is repentant and she wants me back. We kiss and I am in her bedroom. She still has all the photographs of her new lover. The door bell rings and I don’t reply. It rings again and again.

I get out of sofa- the room is dark and a cheetah is chasing a deer on television - and I open the door. It was Siddharth and his girl friend. They come in and leave the door open. I lie down in my couch again and Siddharth takes a chair. His girlfriend sits in his lap and they start kissing. I browse through channels but nothing interests me. I look at them and I am disgusted. I think to myself, “Watching TV all day long has made me fat, I should go out sometimes”. I get back to sleeping.

I am sitting at my desk when Natasha comes back. She is wearing a black shirt. She looks flat-chested. She tells me that Sahil wants to see me and turns to walk away. I reach out to her and grab her by her waist. She turns and slaps me. Everyone is talking. There is no one in office but I can hear the murmurs. I walk to Sahil’s cabin. A fat ugly man is sitting in his chair bare-chested. “Do you want your job back?” he asks. “You know, I never cared much about the job”. “Who cares what you care about?” The murmuring rises.

My couch is surrounded by people, a sea of familiar faces and bodies. I get out of the sofa and try to look over the sea to find someone I may want to talk to. I go and stand with Abhishek, a college friend. He is talking to another friend. He says, “If there is no wish to loot, rape and murder, there would be no pursuit of power. The civilization would cease to exist”. I am bored and I walk away. More than bored, I am irritated. I look for the door to exit but I can’t find it. I find my mother. “Did you say hello to Papa? You must. He’s here, he’d like it. When people grow old they like it when children talk to them.” “I would, Mummy.” I run away from there to find the door. I finally find one. But it does not open outside. I find Suzanne and her lover on the bathroom floor. People follow me in and cheer them. I break down crying but I cannot hear myself amidst the shouting. I make way for myself through the crowd and go into a corner.

“That is what people do. They talk and they talk. You cannot keep them from talking. I should not have left the door open in the first place.” I wrap myself in a cozy blanket and wait in the corner for all this to end.